oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Let's get the cat blown out
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
try to milk me bitch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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