bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i've created a new STD.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
