stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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