Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
