You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I met the friendliest cop last night
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
