She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
