I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
