the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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