Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
