I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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