Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
