No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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