My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
