She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize