Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
