I look better un-naked...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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