Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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