Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
