Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just forgot I was standing up.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
