lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
