normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
