I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
