New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
