we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
