D3 body, D1 cock
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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