Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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