yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
