And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
