No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he thought i was a dude.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
