Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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