remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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