you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Semen is not good for contacts.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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