Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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