ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
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