I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
