My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I stole a fireplace last night.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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