M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
