One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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