But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
