It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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