I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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