i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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