He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
