im drinking this country out of the recession.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
