quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
