please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
