I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
