My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Farmville is her only friend.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
