Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
