I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
