we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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