she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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